Orientation is almost over...

First and foremost, congratulations to Becca and Paul on your engagement! I´m very happy for you guys, and even though I learned through a mass-email, I do appreciate the shout-out and I guess I´ll get over it...especially if you both start talking me up to all your attractive female friends who will be at the wedding.

In another note...to all my other friends, stop getting engaged...seriously....it´s freaking me out. If I find out that Hieu and/or David are engaged in the next 6 months I´m going to lose it and consider living down here for the rest of my life.

It´s been a while since I´ve last updated, and I don´t know how long I´m going to have, so I´m going to be doing this update in summary version of my week.

-I have successfully completed my practice teaching session, and in my opinion, and the opinion of my observers, it went pretty well. I have ¨great teaching presence¨, which I understand as meaning that I´m incredibly attractive, further evidenced by the fact that two of my female students left me their numbers and have expressed a desire to ¨meet¨ with me before I head down to Machala. Don´t worry mom, I´m sure they just want more english practice, I´m still coming home next year...as of now... Seriously tho, the teaching went really well, so well in fact that I got a round of applause on my last day...not joking. I hope it was in fact because of my teaching skill, and not because my students were relieved they didn´t have to experience me anymore...

-After we finished teaching, we had a party/talent show for all the volunteers and our students. We have a couple very talented musicians in our group, one who writes his own music and plays piano and guitar, and another who is very very talented on the guitar. In this coffee shop we´ve kind of made our own, there have been many a jam session. So clearly they were going to do something for the talent show, and they asked me to join them. "But Bryce, what did you do? We remember your squeaky voice when you were in Semper Fy, you surely can´t play piano as well as anyone with musical talent, and lets be honest, even with your amazing drummer skills there´s no way there was a drumset that someone brought down with them...I ask again what did you do?" Alright, alright, I´ll tell you. I beat-boxed. Damn straight I did, and it was a hit. People were throwing their clothes on the stage, women crying with pleasure, and afterwards I was asked for my autograph. Ok, maybe not to that extent, but it did actually go pretty well, considering I was a white man making drum sounds with my mouth. Then afterwards we all danced salsa. I am a better beat-boxer.

- Yesterday myself and 5 of my companions went to the top of ¨the telefariqo¨, a large mountain that is above all but the highest clouds. We took a cable car up to the top of the mountain and the views there were absolutely stunning. Whenever I´m doing things like this, I have these moments where I´m just like ¨Bryce, do you realize you´re hiking in the mountains of Ecuador?¨ It´s truly amazing to think that I am down here doing things that before I only could imagine doing. And to further that thought, the trip yesterday ended with a 30-minute horseride, on the mountain, where i had FULL control over the animal, and i was wearing a native-style poncho! I have some great pictures of the whole experience that I´ll be sure to put up when I get a chance.

On saturday, the group took a trip to Papallacta, which is an area of hot springs enclosed in this resort that are said to have healing qualities. It was a 2-hour trip up, during which we played Mafia most of the time, which made me think very fondly back to the same experiences when I was in Salamanca. Then upon arriving, a group of us took a hike around the area. The cool thing is that Papallacta is right on the edge of the rainforest, so we got to see some amazing sights, and again, the entire time I was thinking ¨bryce, you´re hiking in the rainforest¨...insane... Afterwards, we went into the hot springs, which were absolutely amazing, all of different temperatures, including one that was filled with freezing cold river water that flowed from the top of the mountain. Note to self: jumping from freezing cold water to almost-burning hot spring and back and forth shocks your body something fierce, and you end up with a decent head cold... To top this whole trip off, we had some of the most amazing trout for dinner, and then had a nice relaxing trip back to Quito.

-Other random things, as much as I was joking at the beginning of this trip, people actually have started calling me Papa Chadwick with some regularity. I don´t think ¨Bryce¨ is in any danger, but I´m asking you seriously to consider thinking of me in these terms from now on. Thanks.

- The eight guys that are here have started calling ourselves the ¨dudemen¨, a name rich with meaning, and also something that I´d like to continue when I get home.

-Orientation ends on Wednesday, and I believe Thursday a group of us are going to the Amazon for a week or so, because I don´t have to start teaching until the 6th of October. Needless to say, it´s absolutely ridiculous to think that a month has almost passed, and that the actual job-part of this experience is about to start. I´m a little weirded out by the fact that I´m actually kind of looking forward to it...

-HELL YEAH WAKE AND THE SKINS, this was a great weekend for football, and I am keeping myself updated as much as I can with the goings on in sports and news in general back home...let´s hope Correa doesn´t follow Bolivia and Venezuela´s lead...because if the American ambassador is kicked out of Ecuador it might be pretty soon that you guys see me in person...

Ok, I´m going to go look for Ecuadorian´s to mack on...keep those emails coming, and I miss everyone back home lots!

BRYCE

Typical Day Part 2

Now that the weekend is over, I can get back to writing down details of my life.

Before I start, again, thank you all for the emails, the facebook posts, the comments and all of that. Like I said, its difficult to email everyone back, but I hope that these updates allow everyone to feel connected to whats going on here, and I will start calling home a lot more once I find my piece of paper with all my important numbers...

OK, so I believe we last left off when I was on the bus...

The bus is truly a unique experience, and when you´re ready to get off, there´s a highly complicated process involving many steps. Step one: You yell ¨gracias¨ as loud as you can. Step two: you jump off the bus as it again slows to 60 miles an hour. The bus routes here change like the weather (a lot), and this has led to some interesting unintentional tours of the city, but I have yet to get lost in an unsafe area...however that may be because with the two elephant guns I feel safe wherever I go.

After getting off the bus, Craig, Jon and I have a 15-20 minute walk to wherever we want to go, be it the hotel we have orientation classes at, the school where we teach english, or the spanish school. I´m assigned to teach in the morning, and tomorrow is actually my first day, so before that I´ve been observing my fellow volunteers. Tomorrow I´m teaching sports. I figure it´s the easiest for me, plus if all else fails we can have tournaments of paper football or something. How that will help my students learn english I have yet to find out, but I´ll definitely come up with something.

After teaching/observing, we have hours of orientation classes ourselves, where we learn everything from using audio-visual components in the classroom to how gender and sex is treated in the ecuadorian society. The classes are sometimes interesting, always long, but I guess I´m feeling a bit more prepared for teaching after them, so overall they´re helpful.

In between these classes, from 12-2, we have lunch. And lunch is amazing. Ranging from comida tipica, which is two bucks for a big plate of meat, chicken, or fish, a bowl of amazing soup, and rice and beans or lentils, with juice, to Italian, to Mexican, to KFC, lunch is a very nice part of my day. The other day I got a footlong chili dog, and a double decker burger, and a beer, all for under 5 dollars. Then, since we only take about an hour for lunch usually, a couple of my friends and I have taken to going to a park in the area and playing cards. I have successfully brought capitalism to Ecuador! My host brother says he´s played it before, having learned it from some Brazilians, but clearly that´s ridiculous and false, because ¨capitalism¨ is not a portuguese word.

Then, after orientation, we go to Spanish classes, which I am seriously considering skipping today... The classes are actually pretty helpful, because there´s only four people in a class, all at about the same level, its just that two hours of spanish, especially after a long day like we have, can be a bit much sometimes.

Then after spanish, we head back home, where we have an amazing meal prepared for us, and I am able to maybe catch a bit of a movie before passing out, ready to do it all over again.

Speaking of movies, they´re dirt cheap down here. It´s very possible that I will be coming home with another 100 movies to add to my collection. I´ve already bought 12 so far, including death race, tropic thunder, and batman 2, which havent even come out in the states yet. The only problem is that I never get a chance to watch them.

Ok, I´ve got to go plan for my lesson tomorrow, and figure out whether or not I´ll be going to spanish class....judging by my attendance record at Wake, i think we can probably figure out how this one´s gonna end up.

BRYCE

And Orientation is now halfway over

Today is the two-week anniversary of us arriving in Quito, and we only have two weeks left until we head off to our respective placements around the country. Tonight, our entire group is going out to celebrate, and, with respect to my first-week anniversary, I´ve hired a platoon of guerillas to run bodyguard for me...and a few of my friends.

Life here has settled into a certain routine. Every morning begins at 530. Well, every morning is SUPPOSED to begin at 530. As I have already completed one half of my observation requirements, the past two days I´ve been yelling through the wall to my housemates that I will be sleeping in until 830 and I´ll see them down at the hotel later. I am very adept at convincing myself while half-asleep to stay asleep, a skill I used often at Wake, and I´m somewhat pleased to see that the international travel hasn´t dulled it at all. However, it´s a very weird and unpleasant feeling to say that I ¨slept in¨ till 830...

Breakfast follows, which for me is a bit of an adjustment. I don´t like breakfast...I usually sleep right through it, but apparently it´s a moral sin to go off to class or work without some sort of nourishment. Breakfast at the Pasmino´s (my host family here in Quito) consists of some sort of juice, hot milk and chocolate, and bread smeared with homemade jam. Side note on the juice...it´s amazing, and I´ve had more varieties in these two weeks than I´ve had in my life. Blackberry, Tree tomato, Pineapple, Guava, Papaya, plus about 6-7 others whose fruit I´ve never heard of. It´s amazing.

After breakfast, I head out to the bus stop. And by bus stop, I mean any stretch of sidewalk that I happen to be on when the bus I need passes by. You calmly put your hand out and then get ready to leap onto the bus while it momentarily slows from 80 miles an hour to 60 in order to allow you access. Once on the bus, you wave hello to the other 200 people on there (really, there are bus limits that picture 36 people allowed to sit and 57 to stand, those are not made up numbers). On the bus, everyone looks like they´re in some weird sexual position with their bags/purses, attempting to cover every possible pocket to prevent pickpocketing while also holding on to the railing so that they dont fall over. I´m pretty sure that three bus rides qualifies you for the most advanced levels of Yoga and/or Kama Sutra...

And, since I´m gonna go take some tour or something, I´m going to have to cut this short, great note to end on I know, but I´ll be back to finish this probably tomorrow.

Keep those emails coming...

BRYCE

Still alive!

Yes, the rumors are true...no hijackings, no robberies, no assaults, and no pickpocketing since my last post! sweeeeeet

This may be because I have followed the advice of my sweet dear grandma and am now travelling around ecuador carrying two elephant guns. It´s a little awkward getting on the buses, but other than that it should work pretty well for the remainder of my trip.

To answer some questions I´ve gotten: (this keyboard has a colon!!!) I am still completely fine, no nightmares or nervous breakdowns, and I only cry when I´m not eating. This episode has changed some aspects of our trip however, and I will document them now:

1) I got to go to the American Embassy! We were escorted by armed guards and taken to the back conference room. They´re in the process of moving, so there was crap everywhere, but we met with the consulate advisor and the US Army liason (lets be honest, I´m completely making these titles up), and they took our story and then sent us on our way.

2) Jon is now no longer going to be teaching in Machala, he has his reasons for that and I can´t blame him for them, but that means that there will only be two Americans in Machala now.

3) Instead of the usual activities of dancing and going out and making friends and all that, I will be sticking to a strict regimen of meditating, and taking self defense classes, including tai chi, judo, karate, and UFC training.

HA

Our teaching practicum began yesterday, and I´ll be teaching a class by myself starting next tuesday for three days. Till then I´ll be observing other volunteers and probably playing sudoku on my phone (new cell phone, same number!) while acting as if my qualitative comments on the teaching styles of my volunteers require serious mathematic calculations on my phone´s calculator.

Interesting thing in class, and I SWEAR I am not making this up, it was confirmed by my teaching partners, but one of our female students has been making eyes at me, which is a ridiculous and somewhat disgusting saying, in both of the classes we´ve taught/observed so far. Apparently I am far more attractive in Ecuador than in the US, because I do not remember a single occurrence of...being made eyes at?...back home...

Other than this, things are pretty uneventful, been hanging out, taking classes, having great food and great beer (Pilsener is the name of the beer here....not the brand...the name....and it´s pretty damn good...but only in moderation, and I never operate heavy machinery after imbibing) Maybe for my next entry I´ll write some about the people I´ve been hanging out with the most, mainly because Brittany wants to see her name in my blog...

THATS WHAT SHE SAID

BRYCE

Week-anniversaries are hell for me

So, remember last time I went abroad, how on the week-anniversary I punched a bum and subsequently got my ass handed to me by a bunch of 10 year olds? And how I was blind for much of that time, which for some reason I still don't understand many of you find absolutely hilarious?

Boy did this week-anniversary top that one.

Before I begin, mom, I'm sorry for not calling first, but as you will soon read, I have good reason for that. AND the important thing is that I'm completely absolutely 100% ok...

Still, David, you may need to write a funny comment for this one again to help my mom out...

THE STORY:
After long conversations with Ash and Morgan, and a day out on the town with my host family in Machala (who is awesome by the way), Jon, Katherine and I headed out for the 10 hour bus ride back to Quito. I had kept my contacts in the whole time on the first trip, and I didnt want to risk my eyes breaking or anything so I had decided to wear my glasses and have my contacts in my little green bag. I was fully intending on sleeping the vast majority of the trip in order to be well rested by the time we got back to Quito so there would be no problems going to the Ecuador/Bolivia soccer game (sorry Ash and Dave, I'm rooting for Ecuador). So, as the bus started, I put my glasses into my bag, put my Ipod in my ears, and began dozing.

Three hours later, I was rudely interrupted by a awful smell coming out of the bathroom and a man shouting and running up and down the aisles. I still don't know why the smell was absolutely necessary, but all of a sudden, the bus takes a sharp turn off the road into a forest. It's about this time that the man shouting passes by me again, and, even in my near-blindness, I can see he's holding a gun.

Oh joy.

This man, we'll call him Jorge, because lets be honest, there's a decent chance that's actually his name, starts hitting people with his fists and yelling for people to wake up and give him his money. It's about this time that the bus door opens and in come three other men to join the party. People on the bus start moaning and crying, including Katherine who is sitting next to me, and Jorge and the others start yelling more things in Spanish. Apparently I need to brush up on my "common-phrases used in an armed robbery", because I did not realize Jorge was telling me to put my arms on my head. Fortunately, he was very empathetic about my gringo ignorance, and politely pistol-whipped me in the back of the head to help my further understanding of the Spanish language. That's right, I was pistol-whipped. I have a bump on my head to prove it. And I'm not upset at all. Lets be honest, how many of you can say that's happened to you? Not many, I'm guessing. Here's a scenario for you:

You (approaching an attractive girl at a bar): Hey beautiful, I played three D-I sports in college, I've won a Nobel Peace Prize, and I can wiggle my ears.
Me (approaching same girl at bar): Hello there, sorry, I couldn't help but notice that you didn't say you've been pistol-whipped. Well guess what? I have been.
Girl: Bryce, you are absolutely the most amazingly bad-ass man I've ever met in my life, please please take me home with you.

Trust me, I've played this scenario out many a time in my head. It ends the same way every time. Point goes to me.

Anyways, back to the story:
After being told how correctly to behave in a stick-up, I am asked by Jorge for all my 'plata', which means money. I empty one pocket and, like he has done to many other people in front of me, he tells me to get up and get off the bus. I walk down the stairs into the warm welcoming arms of two other guys, one of whom was really young. They proceed to give me the most thorough frisking of my life. I tell you what, the President should hire them for his secret service, especially if they cut down on this stealing from innocent people habit they've established. It's actually a good thing, because now, if there's ever a time I'm tempted to hide valuables up my rear end (no jokes please) or in my crotch, I can say to myself: "No Bryce, you know that that's the first place they're going to look." In this frisking process, they take everything out of my pockets and anything that isn't money they throw to the ground, including my passport copy and important phone numbers that I have. After they're done, I decided, you know what I really need those papers. So I ask the baby robber to give them to me, and he looks at me a little dumbfounded that I'm actually talking to him, stammers something, and eventually reaches down and puts them back into my hands. Then he tells me to go lie down on the dirt path along with the other men that have already been taken from the bus.

Oh, if you aren't laughing right now, remember this: My glasses are still in my bag on the bus. I am completely and utterly blind, and to prove that point, I accidentally step on three of the other men on my way to my assigned location in the dirt.

It's at this point things get a little serious. Apparently, according to Katherine, all the women are kept on the bus. And she says that something was done by three of the men to one of the women on the bus. I'm not entirely sure what, I'm not really searching for answers there, but whatever happened there was seriously messed up. Also, the man lying beside me starts to groan, and it turns out that he is an employee of the bus station and had put up a struggle getting off the bus. In return, the jackass Jorge stabbed him. Twice. Once around his waist/crotch and once in the side of his chest. And as he rolls around on the ground, at one point he gets on his side and his tshirt and pants I can see are covered in blood. This is the not-fun aspect of the experience, really messed up and not cool, but I believe both people were ok; the employee was taken to the hospital as soon as the police came and the girl continued on our trip with us.

So after a while, probably an hour and a half, of listening to the thieves rummage through the bus and taking people off, someone says something about a car, and they split. It is now time to assess the losses. Let me tell you one thing, these robbers had issues. First and foremost, they took my glasses and contacts. Yeah, maybe its just because they took the bag that they were in, but I found other stuff that was in the bag strewn around the bus, so clearly they went through the bag and decided that they had some blind friends that could use American glasses. Also, they took my iPod. This is somewhat obnoxious, because I spent way too much money on it. However, they left my headphones in my seat...why I will never know. They also took a deck of playing cards, my cell phone, and all the money from my wallet. They left, however, my wallet itself, including my emergency cards, my volunteer card, and, for some wonderful reason, my debit card. Also, they left my jacket. Which reminds me. Dad, I may or may not have your jacket here in Ecuador. And, wonderfully, they didn't get into the luggage compartment, so all my clothes are still in my bag.

So basically, because I'm trying to finish this in time to get to the soccer game, here are the summary points of the story: I lost my glasses and contacts and spent the next 8 hours of the trip (because we still had 8 hours to go), completely blind (In fact, when Peter, our director, came to pick us up, he said he had brought my contacts, but really he had just brought the one for my left eye...which made the trip back to the house very interesting). And finally, I am a bad-ass because I've been pistol-whipped. If you are a girl and you have not had a crush on me already, this should change immediately.

Seriously tho, as you can see, I'm not phased really at all by this, life is about stories and since we all got out of it ok, it's a story that I'll be willing to tell for a long time. I'm completely 100% fine, really mom, i am, and I don't feel any more in danger than I did in Spain, so don't worry about me. I'm going to get a new cell either today or tomorrow, and I'll get that new number out asap. However, if anyone wants to buy me a new iPod, I would be more than happy to accept. Just kidding. Kind of.

I'm sure I've left some things out, so if you have any questions, just type them, and I'll answer them in my next post.

~BRYCE

Cell phone!

SUCCESS!

I no longer feel naked, because I have a way to communicate with the outside world in my pocket as we speak. I mentioned this fact to my host family and they, if i understood them correctly, called me effeminate for feeling this way. My family respects me a lot, and I´m really glad we´re at the point where we can show that respect in such positive ways. I immediately went up to cry in my room and refused to come down until they had apologized and had told me how strong and masculine I was.

Without further ado, let me give you my number...

01159395489107

Yes it´s long, but I think it should work. The other thing is tho, that it´s expensive, so only do it if you´re willing to pay like 50 cents a minute...hopefully talking to me is worth that much, but I realize it´s a little annoying. If you really want to call me tho, it´s cheapest to do it via skype, where I believe the cost drops by over 60 percent. Also, if someone could explain to my mother what Skype is, and how to use it, that would be great, because I guarantee she´s lost just reading this section. I think you need to buy credit on Skype and then you can just call the number and I´ll be able to talk! Feel free to do this anytime tonight, as I will be taking a 10 hour bus ride to Machala for my host family visit there.

Yes, I´m already taking my first trip! At 945 today (tonight) I will be boarding a bus with the two other volunteers that are teaching in Machala, and we´ll be trekking across the country and arriving at 745 to meet our host families. I envision my first conversation being something like this (translated for your benefit).

Host Family- Hey Bryce, how was your trip?
Bryce- Goodnight.

Friday I have a meeting with my director to go over the classes I´ll be teaching. My schedule as of now is a three semester program. I´ll be teaching 3 classes a week, a beginner and probably two intermediate/advanced classes, 18 hours, until March. Then the fun starts. March and April will be the "intensive class" months. This means I´ll be teaching one class, five days a week, for FIVE HOURS a day...without breaks. This will be the highlight of my trip of course... Then after that nightmare I return to a normal, sane, reasonable schedule of three classes.

Other things that I´ve been doing- (they apparently don´t have semicolons or colons (the punctuation mark) here in ecuador, this keyboard is really irritating me.)
Today we went on a city tour, where we saw a bunch of buildings and people and monuments. The highlight of my trip was the spectacle of an old woman who had a pigeon on her head. I´m not kidding, apparently she had trained this foul bird from birth to stay on her head, even if it was startled and wanted to fly away. Why one would do this I have no idea, but it´s something I wouldnt mind trying. Unfortunately, I don´t think Mugzy has the staying power. The other cool thing I did was have someone take a picture where it looks like I´m high-fiving a giant statue of a winged virgin Mary. I´ll post this as soon as I figure out how. It´s awesome.

Other than that, orientation has been a bunch of seminars and stuff on how to teach. It´s a little boring, but the people there make it worth going to, so I´m having a pretty damn good time overall.

Hope everything is going well in the states, and because I´m almost out of time for my internet, I gotta go!

BRYCE